Tres Cosas

THREE THINGS

Scare me: yellowjackets, Alzheimer’s, loved ones in danger

People who make me laugh: David Sedaris, Richard Pryor, Short and Rex and Fat and Camino (I think they’re two halves of the same coin).

I love: RUABelle, our pets, the snooze button

I hate: I try really hard not to hate anything or anybody. UC Berkeley, USC and UT Vol football fans are as close as I’ll allow myself.

I don’t understand: Organic Chemistry (it made a History major out of me), what makes women cry, why I like to do Sudoku puzzles.

Things on my desk: Purell hand sanitizer, an empty coffee travel mug, a red Swingline stapler

I’m doing right now: trying to catch up from missing a day of work last week, wishing the office cleaning fairies would visit while I’m at home tonight, anticipating a really good dinner with RUABelle and a vendor tonight at Nick and Rudy’s.

I want to do before I die: spend another month in Brazil, hang-glide, make a difference in a child’s life.

I can do: juggle, make a joke about almost anything, comfort.

I can’t do: make myself care about my job anymore, walk across a narrow path in a high place, fight this feeling anymore (sorry, REO Speedwagon occasionally lives in my medulla).

I think you should listen to: Los Lobos, Prince, Mozart.

You should NEVER listen to: Any band where the haircut is more important than the music, Dick Vitale, any member of The Staggering Prophets when making a wager.

I’d like to learn: to play the piano, how to ride a bike without getting exhausted, how to pick locks.

Favorite foods: my smoked pork tenderloin, ice cream, bacon.

Beverages I drink regularly: water, Miller Lite, wine

Shows I watched as a kid: whatever the cursive handwriting show was on Channel 8 with the really hot young brunette teacher with the utterly calming sonorific voice, Three Stooges with my dad, James at 15.

Tagging: Nobody. I’m with Sarcastro. Stop the insanity!

On Deep Discount at the Tennessee Sports Fan Store in Opry Mills

Erron Kinney jerseys
Chris Brown jerseys
Andre Woolfolk jerseys

Is that a clock I hear ticking…?

American Airlines Flatus 223 Is Now Arriving in Nashville

Yeah, we all heard the story about the woman who grounded the flight because she was lighting matches on the plane to cover up her own stank .

But does the dateline on all these stories have to be Nashville, TN? The plane was headed from Washington, D.C. to Dallas. We just happened to be the closest place to put `er down after the refrieds began to percolate.

Like we really need more backwards-ass press coverage. Read the “News of the Weird” column in the Scene. You’ll notice a disproportionate percentage of items come from the middle Tennessee area.

Sheez!