For Sista Smiff, what else could do but a rousing Bluegrass breakdown?
Feel free to pick along Rex. Somewhere in the neighborhood of G.
Chorus
You know that she is my Sista!
Dedicated to her Mista.
But sometimes I wishta
Been the first who kista.
Spoken in a Waylon Jennings/Dukes of Hazzard style over the instrumental break:
“Of course I don’t mean “sista” and “kista” in the Appalachian sense. We all recognize the sanctity of the matrimonial vows and the fact that Sista’s Mista is about six foot fourteen inches tall and frequently wields a tool of rosewood and wire about the size of a Mini Cooper. I’m just sayin’ is all…“
Repeat chorus
You know that she is my Sista!
Dedicated to her Mista.
But sometimes I wishta
Been the first who kista.
Verse
She’s a name dropper
She’s a show stopper
She’s a WalMart shopper
She’s a gravy sopper.
Waylon again:
“But is it really name dropping if you actually know the person you’re talking about? I don’t think so. And neither does my friend Dale Earnhardt, jr. Say hello, Dale.“
Dale, jr. (If we can get his agent to return our calls):
“Howdy, y’all!“
Verse
Wishes she wuz Paula Deen
Cooks a mean turnip green
Loves her some hot cuisine
She’s our blogger queen.
Repeat chorus
You know that she is my Sista!
Dedicated to her Mista.
But sometimes I wishta
Been the first who kista.
Waylon:
“Mmmm, I could sure go for some of that Sista home cookin right about now. How about a banjo solo while I go eat? Take it Rex!“
64 bar banjo solo. Go ahead and go to the kitchen for a snack. We’ll wait.
Verse
She’s a fast talker
And a Osmond stalker.
I’m just a mall walker.
Who’s a silly Focker.
Waylon:
“I have nipples, Focker. Could you milk me?”
Repeat chorus
You know that she is my Sista!
Dedicated to her Mista.
But sometimes I wishta
Been the first who kista.
Waylon:
“Again let me reiterate the use of the 1st person is traditional in the folk song genre and in no way is meant to represent any particular person in any way that might impugn anyone’s reputation or get anybody’s ass kicked.”
But sometimes I wishta
Been the first,
Been the first,
Been the fiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrst
Who kistaaaaaah!
Waylon:
“She’s your Sista. You know you love her.”
Posted by ceeelcee 
