It’s Not Easy Being Green

Those of you who know me well are aware that there is a bit of a “smug alert” going on around me as I attempt to buy my way into heaven by trying to be more socially responsible.

I joined a CSA and buy organics whenever possible. I traded my gas-guzzling Tahoe in on a hybrid. I’ve swapped most of my incandescent bulbs for compact fluorescents. Our recycling bins are now twice as full as our trash cans, and not just with beer cans and wine bottles. I’ve been riding the bus to work a few times per week for about a year and a half, and now I’ve even started riding my bicycle at a high rate of speed through the `hood dodging hookers and junkies on my commute to the office.

Now you can join in, dear readers.

May 16th is officially “Ride Your Bike to Work Day.” Unfortunately for most folks, May 19th is officially “Finally Arrive at Work Day.” Wear a helmet.

Crappy Birthday to You!

If you’re gonna mess up my desk by putting sprinkles on top of your cupcakes, they should at least taste like something. Paper confetti icing. Feh.

And don’t get me started about those people that put mylar confetti balloons and palm trees and 40’s and dollar signs in the envelope with their party invitations to shower your cubicle when you rip it open. Unless you’re coming behind with a Dyson to clean that crap up, don’t even bother!

/curmudgeonish rant