Blogging While Bleeding

March 31, 2006

I’m giving platelets. Right now. And you should, too!

I do it for many reasons. One, I’m a softie with an inability to say “no.” The American Red Cross calls me every couple of weeks and plays the “we’re critically low and there are kids in the cancer ward with your blood type card,” and I just melt. But you know why they do that? Because they’re critically low and kids are in the cancer ward. The ARC supplies platelets to hospitals for all of middle Tennessee and parts of Kentucky. They need 50 units per day, all of which are provided on a strictly voluntary basis.

Secondly, I donate because it’s no big deal. I’m lucky enough to be employed in a job where I can take an extra hour off during lunch or at the end of the day to do this. The folks who work here are consummate professionals. They only put the best technicians in the apheresis unit which means the best sticks. Never worse than a little pinch. We all have fun back here, cutting up, watching tv and dvds, cruising the web (and blogging) from the high-tech comfortable beds and helping to save lives.

Which brings me to the third, and most selfish reason why I donate platelets every couple of weeks. Nothing makes me feel more self-righteously good about myself than doing this. Of all the reasons to feel smug, I think this has to be about the most positive I can imagine. And we could all use a reason to up our self esteem every once in a while.

So go ahead and try it! They’ll hold your hand and give you Little Debbies and a juice box after it’s over.
2201 Charlotte Avenue


I &#9829 U!

March 30, 2006

Apparently the spammers who have previously been obsessed with the size and quantity of my erections are now concerned about my weight. They are all promising a new svelte me through the magic properties of hoodia.

I think somebody’s got a little crush…

Workin’ for the MTA

March 29, 2006

Oh, no. The Metropolitan Transit Authority is threatening to strike. Based on ridership statistics, literally tens of Nashvillians could be inconvenienced.

Seriously, the people most affected would be lower income workers who don’t have another means of transportation to and from their jobs. Get back to the table, guys!

Quit yer bitchin’!

March 29, 2006

Hey Pat Summit,

I guess that #2 seed you were complaining about was just about right. (As opposed to the men’s #2 seed…)

Figures Lie and Liars Figure

March 28, 2006

In the sports section of the Tennessean today there was an article from the AP about the implausibility of this year’s NCAA basketball tournament Final Four. They noted that out of 3 million entrants to ESPN’s bracket-picking contest, there were only four entries that correctly picked LSU, Florida, UCLA and Geroge Mason as the semifinalists.

Then they quoted Mike Breen, a mathematician at the American Mathematical Society. (Who?) Breen “said that the chances that a player correctly picked the Final Four in’s contest were about 1 in 750,000.”

Hmmm…1/750,000=4/3,000,000. Now I’m just a humble history major, but even I can do that math!

So they’re either stating the most obvious fact ever or they’re using past events to justify made-up statistics. I’m applying for membership in the American Mathematical Society or the Derek Zoolander Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

A Sign de los Dias

March 27, 2006

Have you ever seen a Subway sandwich shop close? The one on the corner of Thompson Lane and Murfeesboro Road has been converted to a tortilleria. Now, my inner redneck says “Damn, they’re everywhere now!”

But the enlightened marketer in me notices something that Mayor Purcell, Chief Serpas and the rest of Nashville should be aware of. The Hispanic immigrant population of Nashville is certainly growing. That’s the obvious fact. However, this community has moved far past just being a labor pool. These hard-working people are becoming a force as both consumers and retailers, and any citizen of Nashville that doesn’t see that is just ignorant.

Those that react accordingly have a chance to be at the crest of a new wave of consumers. But don’t think you can just add the word “El” to the front of your name and attract customers to “El Harris Teeter.” There is opportunity for the enlightened. Buena suerte!

Final Farce

March 27, 2006

It’s all over except for the de-facto SEC Tourney. You realize that if that dumb ass Swede Jensen from Washington doesn’t commit the ill-advised hack with 30 seconds to go in the Connecticut game, we’re looking at 2 SEC and 2 Pac 10 teams in the Final Four. As a native of one conference and a graduate of the other, I couldn’t be prouder.

If anybody has any of these teams still alive in their bracket, they win their pool. If they don’t, then the tourney is over a week early for them.

I wanted to hear somebody from one of the “Power Conferences” tell me again how down the SEC and Pac 10 are this year. The ball played by LSU, Florida, UCLA, Washington and Texas was the kind that wins these tournaments. Fast, aggressive, adaptable young future lottery picks taking advantage of the match-ups offered by genius coaches who don’t notice when their star seniors are getting their asses kicked and the refs are letting it happen.

I’ve never seen a tournament where the refs let the players play more than this one. But you know what? I figured it out a week ago Thursday. Coaches K and Calhoun and that whiny bitch Morrison from GonGaga apparently weren’t watching as much SportsCenter as I was. That’s why teams with strong well-coached senior leadership don’t win this tourney. These teams expect success from their system, and when it doesn’t come to them, they don’t reach out and grab it by the yarbles.

Look at the freshmen and sophomores on LSU, Florida, Texas and Memphis. They’re auditioning for the NBA and their coaches are simply putting them in the right position to show off. That means these kids will jump over the moon for an offensive rebound while JJ Reddick is dropping back into a textbook defensive position.

Reddick and Morrison will have NBA careers on a par with say, Mike Dunleavy. Tyrus Thomas, Big Baby and Joaquim Noah will be STARS and at least one of them will have an NCAA championship. Of course, once they go to the NBA, I’ll never give a crap about them anymore…


p.s. Oh, I didn’t say anything about George Mason. That was on purpose.