I like to smell like three things: Safeguard, Pert and Speedstick. Okay, maybe four things. I’d add hickory smoke, but I haven’t yet found Eau du BBQ cologne.

But up here at our Sewanee cabin, I’m not in control of the personal grooming products. That’d be the girlfriend, RUABelle. So now I smell like hebal rosemary mint shampoo and strawberry milkshake body wash. I smell so good I don’t know if I’m horny or hungry.

Either way, breakfast is served.


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