Frank at The Left of the Dial beat me to the punch with the news that University of Tennessee back-up quarterback to the back-up quarterback Jim Bob Cooter has been indefinitely suspended after a DUI.
I’m crushed. By all accounts, Jim Bob Cooter is a nice enough guy. Jim Bob Cooter is supposedly fairly intelligent, evidenced by the fact that Jim Bob Cooter has been the guy that the Philsbury Doughboy coach has selected to stand next to him and hold his clipboard every game. Jim Bob Cooter has even made mop up appearances in several games, but was unable to garner enough attention to work his way into Randy Sanders’ eight quarterback indecision rotation.
Are you getting any idea of the joy I get from saying (and typing) “Jim Bob Cooter?” I have taken such great pleasure over the past few years watching as nationally broadcast games show the camera sweeping the sideline, stopping on the amorphous orange jumpsuited blob that is Phil Fulmer, and noticing that standing next to him is a strapping young man with 256 point Times Roman on his back reading “COOTER.”
Damn, I’ll miss him.
Of course, getting a DUI on the UT football team usually means a one week “indefinite suspension” during the summer when he will not be allowed to lift weights with the team and instead has to wash Ned Ray McWherter’s Budweiser trucks in Dresden.
Come back, Jim Bob Cooter!