Since I posted about my father’s 1974 Cadillac El Dorado convertible last week, I thought I’d show off my pride and joy from when I was growing up.
Yup, that’s a 19 year old CeeElCee wearing a Mexican wedding shirt stretched out in the back seat of a 1969 Mercury Marquis convertible. My father bought the car new in 1969, and I started washing it weekly when I turned 12 with the hopes that I could someday buy it from him. It had originally been special ordered for Roy Orbison, who wanted the 460 cubic inch Lincoln Continental limousine engine instead of the standard 400. Apparently Roy changed his mind and my dad bought it on the spot.
This baby could pass anything but a gas station! It was tough on my lawn-mowing income, so I tended to do stuff like driving it to Centennial Park next to the lake and parking it for the afternoon. I optimistically nicknamed it “The Poon Mobile,” but in high school I might as well have called it “The Masturbatorium.”
In case I ever found myself in a serious drag-racing situation and was at a loss for words, I kept a post-it note attached to the dashboard with the following quote from Hunter S. Thompson’s “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas”:
“Alright, you chickenshit wimps! You pansies! When this goddamn light flips green, I’m gonna stomp down on this thing and blow every one of you gutless punks off the road!”
I never even got a parking ticket.