Mark Your Calendars

For some inexpensive fun next year, do what RUABelle and I did today. Spend part of the afternoon of the Saturday of Tennessee Tax-free Weekend at the SuperWalmart in Decherd, TN. For people watching it can’t be beat. It was like a Sociology class field trip.

We do a lot of shopping at this store since it’s the closest one to our Sewanee cabin, but today was extree special. For some reason, I noticed the aisles were clogged with an unusually high number of Rascal/shopping cart hybrids. The folks driving them would park them right in the middle of the aisle and then get out to comparison shop between Crisco and Sam’s Choice Brand Rendered Shortening. Then they would return to their chariot and swerve down the aisle to the cookie section.

Let me tell you, the Dale jr. notebooks and “Git-R-Done” camouflage baseball caps were flying off the shelves, with nary a tax penny going to the state. And it would take a braver man than me to enter into the scrum that surrounded the pile of UT Vols backpacks that were a door-buster special.

However, I can’t think of a better place to buy a computer today. The poor fella manning the display table with their laptop and desktop specials looked as lonely as the Maytag repairman. Then I found out why. First of all, the brand names were completely foreign to me as computer manufacturers. I had no idea Westinghouse made anything more complex than a light bulb. “Who makes these for Westinghouse?” I asked Clem.

“I reckon Westinghouse,” he replied. I’m pretty sure that’s not true, but his earnestness did make me feel pretty stupid.

“Do you know if this is wireless-enabled?”

“Naw, but it does have a really long wire.” There, that made me feel better. I realized Clem was probably on some rung on the Walmart career ladder between greeter and the guy who hands out samples of Fruit Roll-ups what he’s cut up with a pair of scissors, but I couldn’t figure out which way he was headed on that ladder.

We didn’t buy the best thing we saw, and not because it wasn’t tax-free. Wally World is making an effort to go a little more exotic in their meat and seafood department. This was available for only $3.98.

“Great for Paella,” it said. Uh-huh. Yeah, I bet there’s some great Moroccan cooking going on in Estill Springs. I don’t know what you call it in Bentonville where you come from, Mr. Sam Walton, but around here we call crap like this bait.


7 Responses to Mark Your Calendars

  1. newscoma says:

    I like me some sushi, but that just looks nasty.

  2. Kathy T. says:

    I don’t like sushi, and that stuff looks gross too.

  3. Ha! This post was hilarious!

    Having stood in line at Apple for two hours yesterday to buy my new Macbook (which inexplicably came with a free printer/copier/scanner! Who knew?), I’m now totally peeved that I could have gone to the Decherd Walmart and saved a LOT of time! Gah!

  4. Busy Mom says:

    So, what you’re saying is that you’re not fixing a fabulous seafood dinner for us?

  5. a step below dolphins says:

    I be me some Ca’jun,and we known to eat some wild and won’erful thangs from da water,but we no gonna eat dat ,no thanx you1

  6. fishwreck says:

    “Parts is parts!”

  7. […] have a revolutionary idea.  Rather than cutting the sales tax on food or having these tax-free holidays, I suggest we just double the sales tax for the first two weeks of […]

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