Final Exit Polling

Well, the big decision is tonight at 8:00 at the Sportsman’s Grille. It is then and there that I will pull the chad (ooh, that does sound dirty) that will decide which MLB team I will root for during the 2007 season. I am closing all lobbying efforts at noon today and no supporters will be allowed within 100 ft. of the bar during the time of the election.

I have been inundated with intense last-minute campaigning and I have to admit some of the negative ads have started to wear on me. And some people’s “logic” revolves about how cute I’d look in a John Candelaria vintage Pirates cap. I promised to respect everyone’s opinion, no matter how weird.

I’ll be glad when this process is over and a selection has been made so we can get on with the business of running this country, working to bring our boys back from Iraq and talking about my various bodily functions.

So the current polling is one chance for each of the 30 major league teams with the following adjustments and their lobbyists:

+1 Red Sox Bridgett
+1 Yankees Hutchmo
+1 White Sox Shauna
-1 Cubs Aunt B
+2 Cubs DogDoc, Mistersippi
+1 Brewers Kerry Woo
+2 Reds Sista Smiff, Fishwreck
+2 Pirates NewsComa, Aunt B.
-1 Pirates JB

It may be after midnight before we can get the final results tallied, depending on how many Jager shots I drink. So stay tuned tomorrow for Selection 06!


6 Responses to Final Exit Polling

  1. newscoma says:

    Instead of Jagerbombs, I highly recommend a DuckFart. Sounds nasty but is pretty darned good.

  2. ceeelcee says:

    I usually drink shots instead of shooters. No sense mixing liquors when you’re already doing something really stupid and sure to magnify your hangover.

  3. juice says:

    Allow me to make your decision making process much easier for you. In my last post/rant about Pittsburgh I failed to submit a vote. My vote is for the Cincinnati Reds. Here’s why:

    1. Location – If you’re going to root for a team, why not make it one that’s somewhat close to home. This way, you can actually catch a game sometime.

    2. Great American Ballpark – Speaking of catching a game sometime, remember that they play at Great American – a newly built bad @$$ stadium. Plus you can park in NKY, hang out at the establishments along the river and then get a fairy ride to and from the game for $4.

    3. George Kenneth Griffey Jr. – Yes, he’s old and it takes him a month to heal when he breaks a nail, but he still has the prettiest swing in baseball.

    4. History repeats itself – You might recall a time when the Reds were refered to as The Big Red Machine. Well, those days are coming back around my friend… I promise.

    Well, the polling deadline is rapidly approaching and I just wanted to say good luck to all of the other LOSER teams in the pool. Haha!

  4. sista smiff says:

    So??????? What’s the verdict?

  5. sista smiff says:

    So??????? What’s the verdict?

  6. newscoma says:

    And the weiner is ….

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