1. I have freakishly long toes and can tie a shoelace and make a paper airplane with my feet. My second toe is as long as my pinkie. We’re talking baby hands here, people. Sorry to gross you out. These “talents” did come in handy back when I was a summer camp counselor at the Cumberland Museum and the projector would break down. Sitting in front of a pile of kiddies hopped up on Hawaiian Punch and calming them down by doing toe tricks is a surreal memory, even today twenty some odd years later.
2. When I watch a dvd, I always watch the special features before the movie. This includes the trailer of the movie I’m about to spend two hours watching. Yes, it does drive RUABelle batty.
3. I have taught hundreds of people how to juggle and how to rappel. Not at the same time. I have a proprietary method to teach even the most spastic folks how to juggle three tennis balls. Ask me about it sometime.
4. I can play three songs on the banjo strictly by finger memory. I took lessons for a couple of months when I was in high school. Once I learned how to play “Foggy Mountain Breakdown,” I had achieved what I wanted out of the instrument so I quit going. I can still pick up a banjo and play “Foggy Mountain”, “Cripple Creek” and “Bile That Cabbage Down” but I have no idea what I’m doing when I play it. I tend to just stare off into space, slack-jawed and on the verge of drooling like some sort of “Rocking Horse Winner” while my fingers play the rolls and execute the hammer-ons and pull-offs. Call me a savant. Or and idiot.
5. I was in Jim Varney’s first movie, “Doctor Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam.” This was pre-Ernest. It was very bad, but it is available on dvd. I’m the guy in the science fair scene wearing the maroon faux-Members Only jacket who gets a table full of tires dumped on him the robot science project that has run amok. No, I didn’t get paid extra for the stunt work. I am in the credits though, and I did get to go to the gala opening at the Belle Meade Theatre.
6. When I sing along with a song, I like to sing harmony parts instead of the melody. And not even the traditional harmonies. F’d up harmonies. This makes me good to have along for a small acoustic gig, but horrible at karaoke. I used to play the tuba, so I sing the bass line to the “Start Spangled Banner.” The rest of my musically formative years were spent listening to bluegrass, so that leads to other pretty messed-up harmonies as well. You should hear my high lonesome version of Creed. Be very afraid.
So there, now you know six more weird things about me.