The 12 Days of Blogger Christmas (Day 2)

“Song of My Pork”


I CELEBRATE my pork and sing my pig;
and every butt I rub, I rub for you
Each rib, stroked lovingly, covered with my sauce.

The ivory shaft of loin
Grows taut as I caress it,
Perfumed with my cumin.

It is for your mouth forever–you are in love with it.
I will go to the stack of wood
And stoke your flames.


I breathe the smoky fragrance–the heady perfume of the funk.
I know it shortens my life
With each whiff. It is my art. My gift to the world.

My clothes smell of the funk.
My hair reeks of the funk.
My soul oozes the funk.

The bass line of my being thumps along with your heart,
As a red trickle escapes your lips and
Smears your chin.


The tang of the cheese makes your tongue
Recoil with surprise and delight.
The buttery texture of the mac slides down your throat.
There is no opportunity to refuse its intrusion.

Pintos-peppery and potent.
Like sparks exploding in your mouth.
You must have more, More, MORE.

Apples smelling of Christmas and heaven,
Tasting like the devil’s ambrosia.
There is a heady rush of heroin in these sides.


I stand behind the counter;
I lean upon my elbow with my chin upon my hand.
I am always here. Waiting for you. Needing you. Come to me.

You will be satisfied.
Fully and passionately Knucked.


15 Responses to The 12 Days of Blogger Christmas (Day 2)

  1. sista smiff says:

    Uh..this post here makes me think you’ve been hanging around Cuzzin B-Dub.

  2. Lynnster says:

    Pork pornography (that sounds redundant) at its finest, not that I’ve ever witnessed same.

    If the next 10 days are as funny as the first two… whew.

  3. Anonymous says:

    You naughty naughty man.
    The exploitation of Pork as a sexual being is … umm… I need a cigarette.
    Okay, I’m headed to the Mothership as soon as possible. I’ve just about got the vapors reading this thing.
    Pork Porn.
    Who would have thought it was so stimulating?

    Blogging from work so it’s me, NEWSCOMA.

  4. Malia says:


  5. sarasue says:

    Pork porn, pork porn, pork porn. It’s what’s for breakfast.

  6. saraclark says:

    That’s some sort of man/pork crush you got going on there.

    Hot, manly and romantic all in one. Mercy.

  7. ceeelcee says:

    OK, I’ll admit it.

    It’s only Day Two and I’m freakin’ exhausted.

    This creativity stuff is hard.

    Can I just go back to talking about doody?

  8. Busy Mom says:

    I feel like I need a cigarette and a shower.

  9. shauna says:

    Oh my.
    I’m impressed, disturbed, and…hungry.

  10. Kerry Woo says:

    After reading this post, I keep washing my hands, but nothing happens.

  11. B-Dub says:

    I’m proud of you. I enjoyed every minute of it.

  12. John H says:

    i bet i know what b-dub did after he read THIS post..

    Is there a room at the mothership I don’t know about?

  13. Anonymous says:

    My cholestrol just went up.
    Jeezus, C.
    You are a lovely, lush perv.

    Squirrel Queen

  14. lcreekmo says:

    You are massively talented. Why are you blogging here with us??

  15. Kate O' says:

    I think you made PeTA cry.


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