Mountaintop Poetry

Bradford Pear

You are the first to show off your gaudy spring plumage

and then quickly fade to a formless dull blob.

Your sickly sweet cloying odor overwhelms and offends me

–masking the other more subtle aromas of the season that I treasure.

At the first sign of stress

or w-i-n-d

You crack the middle

Leaving your previously sculptured symmetry hideously disfigured.


Yet, you are everywhere I look. Everywhere I look. Everywhere I look.

Apparently for some unknown reason everyone wants you around.


You are the Paris Hilton of trees.


17 Responses to Mountaintop Poetry

  1. newscoma says:

    My entire office just read your words.
    “The Paris Hilton of Trees.
    Quite true.

  2. Lynnster says:

    My future mother-in-law emailed me this morning complaining about them. Jon Hickman wrote about them on his blog today too. Must be Bradford Pear Day (or Anti-Bradford Pear Day).

  3. […] has a beautiful ode to the ubiquitous Bradford Pear Spread It Around: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]

  4. saraclark says:

    The redbuds are coming! The redbuds are coming!

    Seriously you should have a much better view of the redbud trees up on the mountain by this weekend. Maybe some of the early moutain laurels and native azaleas too.

    Rustic Greenhouse will already have lots of native plants ready for purchase up there. Start planting now.

  5. Mack says:

    (wiping a teary eye) That was beautiful, man.

  6. badbadivy says:

    Very, VERY well said. Bravo!

  7. sistasmiff says:

    I was thinking the same damn thing about them and those bush-like things that start out yellow and I don’t know what they’re called, but, they are EVERYWHERE. This is why I have to load up on Benadryl every night before I go to bed.

  8. Shauna says:

    Oh gross. When I was in high school, my friends and I would eat lunch in the courtyard outside when it was raining. We would eat outside when it was freezing. But we just couldn’t do it when those damn bradford pears were in bloom.

  9. Rustmeister says:

    I want to find this Bradford guy and kneecap him. Twice.

  10. Erik says:

    I’ve seen a tree self destruct right before by eyes. Paris Hilton .

  11. Thanks for returning me to my senses. Every year I have a momentary lapse into Bradford Pear envy and think of planting a few. I never do, for all the reasons you cite ….and now a new one,
    “The Paris Hilton of Trees.” :):):)

  12. […] “You are the Paris Hilton of trees.” […]

  13. Doc says:

    Actually I like the small of Bradford blooms–and the foliage is gorgeous in autumn

  14. […] Georgia March 19 (comment on Jenn’s post) Nashville, TN March 20 (Ceeelcee calls them the “Paris Hilton” of trees) Suburban MD March 25 (this […]

  15. M.Vincent says:

    Bradfor pears are not only a poor choice for horticultural reasons. I did a study of the species as an invasive, and found that it is widely escaping and becoming a terrible weed. See the paper I published. Here is the reference: Vincent, M.A. 2005. On the spread and current distribution of Pyrus calleryana in the United States. Castanea 70: 20-31

  16. 6b6032c571e84e2e07faa4a5ae5e756c


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