More Lessons Learned

How ironic that the Nashville Knucklehead is wrassling with his own water feature issues.

Here’s what I discovered yesterday about small, ornamental fish ponds:

1. If you remove all the rocks from a Home Depot 100 gallon pond liner to clean and dry them, frogs will be unable to climb out of the bottom of the pond.

2. Even if you wet vacuumed the pond completely dry, it will eventually refill with rainwater over the course of a couple weeks.

3. Frogs cannot tread water indefinitely.

4. Frogs apparently do not have gills. That whole amphibian thing always confused me.

5. Five bloated frog carcasses can emit a termendous stench which will put you off of frog legs forever.

6. If one frog manages to miraculaously survive like that West Virginia coal miner under a pile of disembodied frog parts, he will not be happy to be accidentally sucked up by the wet vac.

7. Such an incident is survivable, though.

8. When replacing the wet vac on the top shelf of your workshop, it is important to consider that there might still be some frog water left in the hose.

9. When the frog water pours out of the hose and hits you in the face, it is unwise to say “Oh crap,” as the formation of both words leaves your mouth wide open.


13 Responses to More Lessons Learned

  1. Lynnster says:

    I bet that was one seriously relieved frog.

    As for the frog water – ewwww. But I share your pain. After being gone all weekend, you don’t want to know what I had to dig through to find my grandmother’s ring that dropped off my finger as I was cleaning up after I got home…

  2. fishwreck says:

    I’m sure glad we have you around to learn these lessons for the rest of us! (And I will refrain from any “frog in your throat” references. Oh, crap, I just made one.)

  3. Malia says:

    Your learning curve sounds about as flat as mind is!

  4. Malia says:

    Your learning curve sounds about as flat as mine is!

  5. Jeremiah was a bullfrog. He was a good friend of mine.
    Damn you and your frog-drowning puddle in the backyard.
    This means war.

  6. Lynnster says:

    Well, you’ve done it now, getting on The Squirrel Queen’s bad side like that.

    I can’t save you this time, you’re on your own.

  7. newscoma says:

    CLC, SQ gets this way about small wild animals.
    I don’t get it either.

  8. Mack says:

    I get that you missed the whole rocks thing…I might have not realized that, but how did the fact that frogs can’t survive underwater for very long escape you?

    I’m laughing so hard I’m shaking.

  9. ceeelcee says:

    To clarify, there were no frogs and there was no water in the pond when I left it a few weeks ago. We have another perfectly good pond full of frogs and fish and rocks 20 feet away, so if these stupid mouth-breathers chose to off themselves lemming style in the bottom of the death well, I’m sad but feel very little personal responsibility. This is coming from a person who actually felt bad killing a hornet last weekend.

    It’s just Darwin (or the Flying Spaghetti Monster) at work.

    Sorry, SQ.

  10. Lynnster says:

    Silly Cee. Frogs can’t be lemmings!

  11. newscoma says:

    SQ is over it. You’re good.

  12. badger says:

    Your tag line…Is that from A____intruders part 3? bwahahahahah

  13. newscoma says:

    Hee. Yeah, I told her the story.
    And I laughed once again.

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