How ironic that the Nashville Knucklehead is wrassling with his own water feature issues.
Here’s what I discovered yesterday about small, ornamental fish ponds:
1. If you remove all the rocks from a Home Depot 100 gallon pond liner to clean and dry them, frogs will be unable to climb out of the bottom of the pond.
2. Even if you wet vacuumed the pond completely dry, it will eventually refill with rainwater over the course of a couple weeks.
3. Frogs cannot tread water indefinitely.
4. Frogs apparently do not have gills. That whole amphibian thing always confused me.
5. Five bloated frog carcasses can emit a termendous stench which will put you off of frog legs forever.
6. If one frog manages to miraculaously survive like that West Virginia coal miner under a pile of disembodied frog parts, he will not be happy to be accidentally sucked up by the wet vac.
7. Such an incident is survivable, though.
8. When replacing the wet vac on the top shelf of your workshop, it is important to consider that there might still be some frog water left in the hose.
9. When the frog water pours out of the hose and hits you in the face, it is unwise to say “Oh crap,” as the formation of both words leaves your mouth wide open.