Things I’ve Learned While Running
1. It’s better to be passed by a pretty girl than an ugly guy. Mainly because you have to run behind them until they get out of sight.
2. Not unlike the uncontrollable urge to hit the guy in the lawn tractor picking up golf balls at the driving range, the paperboy will always try to hit you with a Tennessean if you’re out running that early.
3. If I can lose 20 lbs. and still have a beer gut, there must have been a lot of beer in that gut.
4. No hill looks insurmountable if you only look 6 feet in front of you.
5. It really sucks to be 2/3 of the way into a 5K jog and have to pass through a cloud of Lucky Strike smoke from somebody in their bathrobe walking their dog.
6. Getting my Under Armour shirt and tights on and off has become an important part of my stretching routine.
7. The longer you stick with the running thing, the more people will be slower than you. However, unless Kenya does something to piss off George W., there will always be somebody faster than you.
8. When I go to the sporting goods store to buy a jock strap, I get a large. When RUABelle does the shopping at her home away from home (Target), she buys me a medium. They both seem to fit fine somehow.