If This is the “Real World” Where the Hell Have I Been Living?

Yeah, I’ll admit it. I watch the Real World. I haven’t missed a season since season 2. It’s on TiVo. RUABelle’s asleep. I keep the volume down. I’m not wasting anybody’s time but my own. (And apparently yours for reading this.)

But this season is confounding me. Not to get all BOM on you, but I’ll give you a quick rundown. They’re in Sydney, Australia. They’re all good looking, young and dumb. No surprises there.

But the dynamic between three of the cast members is just sick.

Dunbar (no shit, that’s his real name) is a abusive frat-hole who flirts mercilessly with two of the women in the house beneath the cover of having a girfriend at home back in the states.

KellyAnne is a brunette bimboid from Texas who spends half of every day draping some part of her nubile body across Dunbar. She likes to walk around in a t-shirt and panties all the time. I didn’t say I was complaining.

Parisa is an extremely earnest Irani/American who seems to have a level head on her shoulders, except for the fact that she has developed a serious crush on Dunbar and can’t understand why he prefers hanging out with the Texan who likes to get drunk with him and dry hump all day and night.

So, straight from the TiVo last night, rewound multiple times to assure verbatimness, here are the two quotes that make me realize I don’t understand today’s kids at all anymore.

KellyAnne-“I wanna cuddle with someone I feel safe with and knowing that Dunbar has a girlfriend makes me feel more safe.”

Parisa-“It hurts to think that because he respects me, he has to mistreat me.”

I don’t know where these sadly delusional women were when I was young and single, but it now looks like I wasted a lot of time trying to find intelligent, stable women when I could’ve just been looking for the low-hanging basketcases. It would’ve been like shooting fish in a barrel, I tell ya’.

Naah, in retrospect, I’m pretty pleased with how things turned out for me.

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9 Responses to If This is the “Real World” Where the Hell Have I Been Living?

  1. chez bez says:

    You had me at “She likes to walk around in a t-shirt and panties.” I’m watching it OnDemand now.

  2. Jennifer says:

    My college roommate and I actually went to the open auditions for the show.. that was before it morphed into the drunken orgyfest that it is today….Hmm. If we had gone to the audition in just our Bra and panties we might have made the cut.

  3. newscoma says:

    I don’t miss Puck, but I do miss the cartoon guy from that season (Jed, does that sound right?)
    Last season I watched, but I dug that season.

    Yeah, and I’m old too Smiley. 🙂

  4. sistasmiff says:

    I started watching it the first season. I was all of 23 and I watched it with my baby in my lap and I can remember thinking “This is what I should be doing” meaning I should’ve been cavorting with roomates, having a good time and stuff.

    I haven’t watched it since season….whenever it started getting to be a drunken orgy-fest, it got boring to me. Maybe Miami was the last one I watched? What was after that?

  5. hutchmo says:

    Out of all the seasons, the only two people I really remember well are the asshat Puck, and the Mormon chick on Real Worl N’awlins. And, I don’t even remember her name, but I do remember there was this black dude on that same year who thought he could sing but couldn’t sing for shit. The ratio of sex and ‘hooking up’ got too high for even me the L. Vegas year..I haven’t watched since.

    Is it really worth watching these days??

  6. Malia says:

    They still film Real World? I was more of a Road Rules fan myself but I’ve not watched either in forever.

  7. Finn says:

    Hutch…the Mormon chick was Julie and David was the “singing” dude I’m pretty sure. And yes, I’m embarrassed for knowing that.

  8. compassioninpolitics says:

    Its not quite fair to say they are all dumb. The south Asian girl looked intelligent until she sent that “i want to hook up, but not screw things up with your girl friend letter” to the main male interest on the show. Doh!!!!!!

  9. brittney says:

    Remember the first few seasons when everyone wasn’t dumb, drunk and easy? Or supermodel gorgeous? Remember fucking DOMINIC? What about his old ass? They’d never cast him in a million years now.

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