Yeah, I’ll admit it. I watch the Real World. I haven’t missed a season since season 2. It’s on TiVo. RUABelle’s asleep. I keep the volume down. I’m not wasting anybody’s time but my own. (And apparently yours for reading this.)
But this season is confounding me. Not to get all BOM on you, but I’ll give you a quick rundown. They’re in Sydney, Australia. They’re all good looking, young and dumb. No surprises there.
But the dynamic between three of the cast members is just sick.
Dunbar (no shit, that’s his real name) is a abusive frat-hole who flirts mercilessly with two of the women in the house beneath the cover of having a girfriend at home back in the states.
KellyAnne is a brunette bimboid from Texas who spends half of every day draping some part of her nubile body across Dunbar. She likes to walk around in a t-shirt and panties all the time. I didn’t say I was complaining.
Parisa is an extremely earnest Irani/American who seems to have a level head on her shoulders, except for the fact that she has developed a serious crush on Dunbar and can’t understand why he prefers hanging out with the Texan who likes to get drunk with him and dry hump all day and night.
So, straight from the TiVo last night, rewound multiple times to assure verbatimness, here are the two quotes that make me realize I don’t understand today’s kids at all anymore.
KellyAnne-“I wanna cuddle with someone I feel safe with and knowing that Dunbar has a girlfriend makes me feel more safe.”
Parisa-“It hurts to think that because he respects me, he has to mistreat me.”
I don’t know where these sadly delusional women were when I was young and single, but it now looks like I wasted a lot of time trying to find intelligent, stable women when I could’ve just been looking for the low-hanging basketcases. It would’ve been like shooting fish in a barrel, I tell ya’.
Naah, in retrospect, I’m pretty pleased with how things turned out for me.