Reviiiiiiive Bo Diddley

December 28, 2007

This is a lucky sumbitch.

If you’re gonna have a heart attack, I can’t think of a better place and time than in your doctor’s office during a check-up.

Unless, of course it’s in your sleep after a great meal, and outstanding bottle of wine and a toe-curling session of athletic sex on your 95th birthday. Yeah, that’d be better.


The Greatest Gift of All

December 27, 2007

I’m wearing my new Xmas boxer shorts today.  It’s like my boys are sleeping in 400 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

And I got another pair of martini glass boxers.  That should double the amount of opportunities for things like this to happen.  Coincidentally, RUABelle and I are headed to Vegas for New Years to share the moment with 249,998 of our newest and closest friends.  Be very afraid…

Christmas, Smiley Style

December 25, 2007

It was a great day for a bike ride. I took a seventeen mile urban ride and got passed by something like four or five cars. The greenways were filled with friendly folks taking their new Christmas bikes and puppies out for a first test drive. Holiday nods and smiles were exchanged by all.


All the pets were pleased with their Christmas presents. Nellie, being the baby of the family, was everywhere at once with her nose in each gift bag and tugging at every ribbon and bow. She’s a great help at ripping stuff open.

Sammie is the forgotten middle child. That’s her snarfing down on her holiday catnip fix.

Homie is seventeen now and I’m afraid this may be his last Christmas with us. He spent the day moving creakily from heating pad to scratch pad to sunny spot. He’s definitely slowing down and we continue to do our best to keep him comfortable.

But really, that’s all anybody can ask from anyone. Have a comfortable Christmas!

Notes From Within the Haze

December 24, 2007

Things I Learned Yesterday 

  1. When the Weather Channel predicts a “Feels Like” temperature of 26 degrees, they aren’t kidding around.
  2. However at that temperature, your beer never gets warm, which is good at stadium prices.
  3. Somebody has to be able to drive home eventually.
  4. Any efforts to minimize the number of vehicles traveling home from a Titans game is appreciated by all involved.
  5. Norm Chow was apparently on a coaching job interview at Directional Montana State yesterday, so he left an offensive game plan with 3 running plays on a Post-it behind for Jeff Fisher to use.
  6. Ryan’s mom is a regular reader of the Dry Spot.  (Hi, Ryan’s mom!)
  7. If you think you may ever need a liver transplant in the future, it’s probably best to start the paperwork process as early as possible.
  8. Four drunk guys can have a surprisingly spirited discussion at a bar about the pros and cons of circumcision without raising the discussion to an emotional level or depending on anything stupid like facts or statistics.
  9. This is not true when discussing the designated hitter.
  10. Eating a to-go order or Sportsman’s Grille chicken fingers at 9:00 pm after a day of drinking and football will ensure that you need to get up for a glass of water at least four times during the night.

Now THAT’S More Like My Kind of Xmas

December 22, 2007

I went to the Nashville Predators hockey game with Knuck tonight.  When he dropped me off at my house, we both promised not to drink each other’s Christmas presents before we go to the Titans game tomorrow.

Merry Christmas from the Family

December 22, 2007

I’m allergic to nuts.  Not “projectile vomit anaphylactic shock thrashing on the floor” allergic.  More like “they make my throat itch and my lips turn numb” allergic.  But enough that I don’t like them and avoid them whenever possible.  And I’ve been like this for almost 42 years.

This year, like every year, I went to visit my mother at her house to exchange Christmas presents.  For the fourth year in a row, she gave me a zip-loc baggie full of salted pecans that she had charred in the oven.  Oh well, it’s the thought that counts.

Then she spent 20 minutes trying to sell me Xango juice. When I politely but firmly told her I was not a potential client and to please peddle her snake oil somewhere else, she tried to get me to sign up as a distributor instead.

It’s a Multi-Level Marketing Christmas!

A Sad State of Affairs

December 20, 2007

I’m ready for Christmas.  By that, I mean I’ve done all my shopping and wrapped all the presents and helped to decorate the house.  (OK, I hung up the tall stuff.  RUABelle did everything else.)

But I haven’t wrapped my head around that it is actually next Tuesday.  The sad part is, I’m so far behind at work I’m a little disappointed that we won’t be open Monday and Tuesday so that I can make some progress at getting caught up.  This holiday is definitely sneaking up on me like a truck windshield on a junebug.

Also frightening is the fact that I’m going to the Titans Jets game with the DogDoc, Knuck and Ryan.  And it’s a 3:15 game.  In the middle of a four day weekend.  What’s the number for Safe Ride again?  I recommend you invest in some Diageo stock.