Obligatory Yearly Placeholder Post

August 22, 2011

Yeah, I’ll bet that got your attention. Since there are still some new readers coming to the site drawn by Google searches that share my misspelling of the word “racoon” and a surprising amount of folks hunting down information about retired Nashville weathermen, I thought I’d welcome them to the site and let them know that the good stuff is linked over there on the right under “The Driest Spots.”

There you can learn more than you would ever want to know about a complete stranger.

And they don’t come too much stranger than me.

Have fun poking around.


That’s Pretty Scary

August 6, 2008

Knuck got me picking through the ole digital vault for pictures from circa 1986.

Then                      Now

Certainly less hair, and what is left is much grayer, but damned if I don’t look like myself.

“If it Says Libby’s, Libby’s, Libby’s on the Label, Label, Label”

June 24, 2008

When I ride my bike by myself on country roads, I’ve started using my iPod Shuffle at low volume to keep myself motivated and entertained.  My rear view mirror protects me from overtaking traffic and usually I can see a cow crossing the road from a mile away in the hinterlands.

But when I ride from home through downtown up Hermitage Avenue and the hooker/day laborer/hourly hotel/spooky cemetary/quonset hut tavern route that is my daily commute, no headphones for me.  I need 100% attention on the road and my surroundings to have a chance to arrive intact.

Unfortunately, that means whatever silly-ass song that gets in my head will stay there for my 35 minute ride, often hummed and whistled in single stanza segments on both the inhale and exhale as I climb hills.  Some recent brain-worms that have haunted me:

“Hot dogs.  Armour hot dogs.What kind of kids eat Armour hot dogs?
Tough kids, sissy kids, kids who climb on rocks.
Tall kids, short kids, even kids with chickepox
Love hot dogs… Armour hot dogs…
The dogs-kids-love-to-bite!”

“Mid-south bizness furniture.  Mid-south bizness furniture. Mid-south bizness furniture.” (repeat x 1000.  I’m not kidding.  That’s all there is to the damn song)

“It’s the New Zoo Revue.  Coming right at you.  With three delightful animals. They have fun with what they do.  They learn from their friend Doug.  (Their friend Doug!)  And his “helper” (quotes mine) Emmy Jo.  (Emmy Jo!) With Charlie! Freddy! Henrietta! They have fun learning what they don’t know.”

“867-5309. 867-530 ni-ee-yine.”

On the rare occasion, I can force these brainworms from my head by singing a verse of “Mustang Sally,” but I doubt the performance is too convincing to the “thirsty-two ouncer lunchbox special” set sitting on the bus stop bench considering I’m wearing skintight spandex pants with a padded crotch pad and a clown-suit jersey with Italian written all over it.

The worst is when I happen to catch a snippet of a commercial just as I go out the door in the morning.   I have a real fear that someday I will find myself in an emergency situation that is not necessarily life-threatening and I’ll end up on hold after dialing 1 (800) 588-2300.

What’s Another Way to Say “Metaphor?”

June 19, 2008

Something I really don’t like about myself that is embarrassingly transparently self-revelatory:

When loading or unloading my car, I almost always try to carry more things in my arms at one time than I can handle.  I invariably drop something and break stuff.

Hmm…I wonder what that says about my tendency and inability to attempt to manage multiple projects?

Note to Insensitive eMarketers

June 10, 2008

Dear Pottery Barn, Wine Spectator, Magellan Travel, Target, Sears, Amazon, Red Envelope, Brookstone and any other mass marketer who has sent me an email over the past week reminding me that Father’s Day is coming soon and suggesting the perfect gift for my father,

He’s dead,  OK?

I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

We already bought him a freakin’ urn.  Sheez.

CeeElCee at Fan Fair-Circa 1978

June 6, 2008

Well, it wasn’t really at Fan Fair, but it is really me and it was really about 1978 and I was really funny looking…

Unexpected Blogging and Twitter Benefit

May 9, 2008

I was listening to “This American Life” last weekend, (yeah I’ve got a yellow-dog liberal streak down my back, screw you, righties!) and David Rakoff told the story about Vinny Ricardo, who was found dead in his New York apartment after mummifying for over a year. Tragically, with the television on.

It got me to thinking, I pay all my bills via electronic transfer. My doctor and my dentist know that I’m responsible enough to make my own appointments on a regular schedule. The folks where I work know that I’d just as soon disappear to my cabin in Sewanee some day forever anyway and catch up on forty years worth of reading and bird watching. After I finished negotiated the sale of the remaining assets from my father’s estate for the family I haven’t heard “boo” from my brothers, other than to hear through the grapevine that they are apparently doing well, which I’m happy about. (Love ya’, bros. Gimme a call sometime!)

So if RUABelle were to get fed up with my shit someday and add some Red Devil lye to my coffee instead of milk or cream, I wonder how long it would take for somebody to really notice I was missing. I mean, we’ve got enough pet carriers to pack up both dogs and both cats, and she does own an SUV and a set of keys to the cabin.

Then I thought of thedryspot.net and Twitter. Y’all might notice my absence after a couple of weeks. So if I take a hiatus, don’t assume it’s writer’s block. Poke me or nudge me or superpoke me or whatever the hell the latest technoterm is, but for God’s sake, don’t leave me dead in the recliner watching election coverage!