Hittin’ the High Seas

June 27, 2008

I’ll be absent from the information stuporhighway for the next fortnight.

Until I get back, y’all play nice with each other and let’s maintain that lead, Cubbies!

Arrivederci, adio and hoşça kalın.


Note to Insensitive eMarketers

June 10, 2008

Dear Pottery Barn, Wine Spectator, Magellan Travel, Target, Sears, Amazon, Red Envelope, Brookstone and any other mass marketer who has sent me an email over the past week reminding me that Father’s Day is coming soon and suggesting the perfect gift for my father,

He’s dead,  OK?

I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

We already bought him a freakin’ urn.  Sheez.

Unexpected Blogging and Twitter Benefit

May 9, 2008

I was listening to “This American Life” last weekend, (yeah I’ve got a yellow-dog liberal streak down my back, screw you, righties!) and David Rakoff told the story about Vinny Ricardo, who was found dead in his New York apartment after mummifying for over a year. Tragically, with the television on.

It got me to thinking, I pay all my bills via electronic transfer. My doctor and my dentist know that I’m responsible enough to make my own appointments on a regular schedule. The folks where I work know that I’d just as soon disappear to my cabin in Sewanee some day forever anyway and catch up on forty years worth of reading and bird watching. After I finished negotiated the sale of the remaining assets from my father’s estate for the family I haven’t heard “boo” from my brothers, other than to hear through the grapevine that they are apparently doing well, which I’m happy about. (Love ya’, bros. Gimme a call sometime!)

So if RUABelle were to get fed up with my shit someday and add some Red Devil lye to my coffee instead of milk or cream, I wonder how long it would take for somebody to really notice I was missing. I mean, we’ve got enough pet carriers to pack up both dogs and both cats, and she does own an SUV and a set of keys to the cabin.

Then I thought of thedryspot.net and Twitter. Y’all might notice my absence after a couple of weeks. So if I take a hiatus, don’t assume it’s writer’s block. Poke me or nudge me or superpoke me or whatever the hell the latest technoterm is, but for God’s sake, don’t leave me dead in the recliner watching election coverage!

Happy Gotchaversary!

May 6, 2008

Not only is today the 2nd anniversary of the bodacious Jag and her beloved CookinBoy, but I can’t believe it’s been two years since this little bundle of neuroses came into our lives.

I hope we all celebrate both these auspicious occasions for many years to come.

A Prufrockian Moment

March 20, 2008

I woke up this morning in a dark place.  No, not my bedroom.  A dismal vortex of despair.

I wasn’t hung over.  I got to bed early. Things have generally been going fairly well in my personal and professional life.  Sure, RUABelle and the animals have been in our Sewanee cabin for Spring Break this week, but I’ve been talking to her a couple of times a day and have kind of been enjoying the bachelor lifestyle since Tuesday.

Then it hit me.  She always made the coffee in the morning.  I’m not officially checked out on the coffeemaker, so it is a no fly zone for me.  If I try, it’ll be awful.  If I break it, she’ll kill me.  I guess I’m trapped.

Why go on…?

Do You Know This Guy?

March 12, 2008


Because I sure don’t. Yet for some reason he has decided to send me 25 unsolicited text messages (probably from prison) over the past couple of days.

It doesn’t really bug me much since I have unlimited texts anyway. But I thought I’d post about him here in case I turn up missing over the next few days. If that does happen, no matter what he says in his testimony, I most certainly did not agree to go for a moonlit walk in a secluded part of a state park somewhere…


March 6, 2008

I hardly ever get tagged for memes. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I blog so sporadically that I’m not really a dependable provider of content. I’m sure I’ve skipped some tags in the past, but one of my most favorite early posts was the result of a meme that I begged Ivy to let me try.

But in the last couple of days I got tagged by two of my absolute favorite bloggers ever, Sista Smiff and NewsComa. As a matter of fact, outside of Knuck who I’ve known for more than a decade before I even heard of blogs, these two ladies are probably my closest online friends. So when they talk…I answer.

Coma’s meme sounded easy. She asked for me to:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. turn to page 123.

3. find the 5th sentence.

4. post the next 3 sentences.

5. tag 5 people.

Unfortunately, the closest book to me right now is the one we keep under the DVD player, “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.” Page 122 is a review of “It Happened One Night,” and page 123 is a full page picture of Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Actually, I think NewsComa would think this is groovy, so here’s the picture:


But in order to keep within the spirit of the meme and actually contribute some literary content to the blogosphere, I went into our library (hallway with a bookshelf from Target) and grabbed the first book at random. It was a gift from my best friend that is on the top of my reading stack after I catch up with five weeks of Entertainment Weekly, “1491” by Charles Mann.

Let’s see…page 123…5th sentence…next three sentences…good…here we go.

“At the time of the conference at least a quarter of the Haudenosaunee were former captives. At great personal risk, many Indian leaders even after they knew that influenza was in Montreal. Dozens died.”

Err…I guess it needs context. I’d better get caught the heck up with EW before the new post-writers’ strike shows start arriving on the networks or I’ll never get back to reading all the cool books that DogDoc has given me over the past year.

Sista’s meme is even more self-referential. It asks me to:

** Go back to your archives and link to your five favorite posts.
Link One: must be about family
Link Two: must be about friends
Link Three: must be about yourself
Link Four: must be about something you love
Link Five: can be anything you choose

Hmmm…considering I haven’t updated my blogroll or my “The Driest Spots” list in over a year (lazy, lazy, lazy) this might be a good way for me to get off my ass and actually comb through the back catalog and introduce both my new readers to some of the golden oldies.

Here’s the family post.

And over here is the one about friends.

Something about me.

A post about something I love.

And dealer’s choice. Fingers crossed, I think I’ll get to take this trip again this year.


Continuing my reputation as the black hole where memes go to die, I won’t tag anybody. Consider yourself lucky, technoverse.