Unexpected Blogging and Twitter Benefit

May 9, 2008

I was listening to “This American Life” last weekend, (yeah I’ve got a yellow-dog liberal streak down my back, screw you, righties!) and David Rakoff told the story about Vinny Ricardo, who was found dead in his New York apartment after mummifying for over a year. Tragically, with the television on.

It got me to thinking, I pay all my bills via electronic transfer. My doctor and my dentist know that I’m responsible enough to make my own appointments on a regular schedule. The folks where I work know that I’d just as soon disappear to my cabin in Sewanee some day forever anyway and catch up on forty years worth of reading and bird watching. After I finished negotiated the sale of the remaining assets from my father’s estate for the family I haven’t heard “boo” from my brothers, other than to hear through the grapevine that they are apparently doing well, which I’m happy about. (Love ya’, bros. Gimme a call sometime!)

So if RUABelle were to get fed up with my shit someday and add some Red Devil lye to my coffee instead of milk or cream, I wonder how long it would take for somebody to really notice I was missing. I mean, we’ve got enough pet carriers to pack up both dogs and both cats, and she does own an SUV and a set of keys to the cabin.

Then I thought of thedryspot.net and Twitter. Y’all might notice my absence after a couple of weeks. So if I take a hiatus, don’t assume it’s writer’s block. Poke me or nudge me or superpoke me or whatever the hell the latest technoterm is, but for God’s sake, don’t leave me dead in the recliner watching election coverage!



March 6, 2008

I hardly ever get tagged for memes. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I blog so sporadically that I’m not really a dependable provider of content. I’m sure I’ve skipped some tags in the past, but one of my most favorite early posts was the result of a meme that I begged Ivy to let me try.

But in the last couple of days I got tagged by two of my absolute favorite bloggers ever, Sista Smiff and NewsComa. As a matter of fact, outside of Knuck who I’ve known for more than a decade before I even heard of blogs, these two ladies are probably my closest online friends. So when they talk…I answer.

Coma’s meme sounded easy. She asked for me to:

1. Pick up the nearest book.

2. turn to page 123.

3. find the 5th sentence.

4. post the next 3 sentences.

5. tag 5 people.

Unfortunately, the closest book to me right now is the one we keep under the DVD player, “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die.” Page 122 is a review of “It Happened One Night,” and page 123 is a full page picture of Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Actually, I think NewsComa would think this is groovy, so here’s the picture:


But in order to keep within the spirit of the meme and actually contribute some literary content to the blogosphere, I went into our library (hallway with a bookshelf from Target) and grabbed the first book at random. It was a gift from my best friend that is on the top of my reading stack after I catch up with five weeks of Entertainment Weekly, “1491” by Charles Mann.

Let’s see…page 123…5th sentence…next three sentences…good…here we go.

“At the time of the conference at least a quarter of the Haudenosaunee were former captives. At great personal risk, many Indian leaders even after they knew that influenza was in Montreal. Dozens died.”

Err…I guess it needs context. I’d better get caught the heck up with EW before the new post-writers’ strike shows start arriving on the networks or I’ll never get back to reading all the cool books that DogDoc has given me over the past year.

Sista’s meme is even more self-referential. It asks me to:

** Go back to your archives and link to your five favorite posts.
Link One: must be about family
Link Two: must be about friends
Link Three: must be about yourself
Link Four: must be about something you love
Link Five: can be anything you choose

Hmmm…considering I haven’t updated my blogroll or my “The Driest Spots” list in over a year (lazy, lazy, lazy) this might be a good way for me to get off my ass and actually comb through the back catalog and introduce both my new readers to some of the golden oldies.

Here’s the family post.

And over here is the one about friends.

Something about me.

A post about something I love.

And dealer’s choice. Fingers crossed, I think I’ll get to take this trip again this year.


Continuing my reputation as the black hole where memes go to die, I won’t tag anybody. Consider yourself lucky, technoverse.


The Latest Master Stroke from the Marketing Geniuses at the Decherd WalMart

January 20, 2008


Check out that “sell-by” date:


Super Bowl XLII-February 3, 2008. Enjoy your nasty-ass moldy cake, WalMart shoppers.

On a related note, while making up our shopping list, I remembered that we hadn’t treated our septic system in awhile. I told RUABelle to make sure to pick up 3-4 boxes of Rid-X. I should have noticed her arched eyebrow.

I also should have noticed the questioning look and shoulder shrug exchanged between RUABelle and the WalMart cashier as we checked out. It wasn’t until I was unpacking our groceries that I realized that they both apparently thought I have head lice. Anybody need a box of Rid?

Scary Stuff from the Decherd Walmart

November 18, 2007


Chocomallows? Great for snacking and recipes? Maybe if your recipe calls for little pillows of crap.

Hanging over the checkout line was an enormous sweatshirt that had to be at least six foot across at the shoulders. It was signed by this year’s Tennessee Vols football team.


Phull Fillmer signed it right in the middle of the chest. Maybe it actually was  his sweatshirt. If he’s been eating chocomallows.

But the scariest thing I saw all day?



A Vicious Cycle

June 27, 2007

At precisely 1:53 last night Nellie the Nervous Pudelhund sprang three feet straight up in the air from her nest in bed between RUABelle and me.  She was barking her little pin head off because apparently a squirrel had farted somewhere within a five mile radius of our cabin in Sewanee.

It’s awful quiet up there on top of the mountain, so needless to say the experience was quite jarring.  As I waited for the adrenaline to subside from my bloodstream, I stared at the numbers on the clock.  For two hours.

Then I apparently fell asleep for about  thirty minutes.  I know this because I had a dream that I couldn’t fall asleep.  When I woke up and realized that I had actually been asleep I was most disappointed in myself.

To the point that I stared at the clock until the alarm went off at 6:00 am.


You Inna Heapa Trouble, Boy!

June 13, 2007

On my drive into work from Sewanee this morning, I saw a baker’s dozen of Highway Patrol cars within 10 miles of the Bonnaroo site.  The profiling of our future tax base continues.

Mi, Mi, Mi, Mi, Mi, Mi Meme

June 6, 2007

Kathy T., bless her heart, tagged me for this meme that asks me to quickly write 8 random facts or habits about myself, then tag 8 people.  She apparently wants to hear some scatalogical details, but I promise not to go into too much detail in case somebody is eating while reading.

1.    I have really bad ingrown toenails on both big toes.  All my tube socks in high school had bloody toes.  I combat them by cutting and tearing the nails really short.

2.    I had a rebel flag on the wall of my freshman dormroom because I was really homesick for the South.  It was during a Hank Williams, jr. fan phase in my life.

3.     My freshman dorm was adjacent to Ujamaa, the Black Studies Theme House.

4.    I was an ignorant, reactionary, redneck conservative dumbass.

5.    We call the third bathroom of our Sewanee cabin the DR.  “The Dump Room.” Do not enter.

6.    My favorite book is “All the King’s Men.”  But I haven’t read it in twenty years.  I hardly ever read anymore.

7.    I do try to read “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas” every summer to blow out the mental pipes.

8.    I used to do acid or mushrooms once a year until I was about thirty for the same reason.

Now I need to tag eight people.

I pick the Beatles and the Wiggles.  Good luck with that.